No Humor in Someone Losing Their Honey: Divorce of Russell & Ashton Wilson

April 25, 2014 — 9 Comments

russell-Wilson-Ashton-Meem-wedding-picWhen the news of Russell and Ashton Wilson filing for divorce was released I was honestly saddened and disappointed.  Not disappointed in them as individuals, but that apparently their marriage is over.  Like the many fans here in Seattle I have enjoyed seeing the pictures of the two of them visiting our local children’s hospital.  I pictured them as having a wonderful marriage full of happiness, faith, and excitement.  Even as a counselor who knows what you see is often not what you get…I allowed myself to put them on a pedestal.  I think a byproduct of moving into midlife as a man is that we get more sentimental about life and even love!  We realize how quickly life goes, and we want to see younger people enjoying every moment of it.

As a radio personality it is expected that I’ll say something comedic or controversial about the situation, but I haven’t been able to bring myself to that point with this situation.  Yes, I know they are both young, they have no children, and they will find love again, but that still doesn’t negate the fact that yet another marriage has failed.  I too filed for divorce when I was in my mid-twenties with no children involved, and it was still a very painful process.  No one is prepared for the friends and family members they lose in that process.  My point being that a divorce is always painful even if it is needed and/or wanted. There is truly life after divorce, but at the moment it is happening the world seems very dark for most.  This is especially true for those who have children, and file for divorce.  They then have to battle depression, anxiety, and the ugly one…guilt.

I simply want those of you who are thinking about getting a divorce to follow the advice my mother gave me at one time.  Do everything you can to save your marriage before walking away from it.  And by trying everything I’m talking about marital counseling, sitting down together and truly listening to what the other wants from the relationship, and being willing to make some changes and compromises.  But with all of that being said remember that you only get one life to live, and you should be happy and be treated with love and compassion.  I would never encourage someone to stay in a relationship where they are miserable, but make sure you can’t find love right where you are before moving on.  I am married to the love of my life, and I’m so glad we stuck together through the difficult times.

 

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9 responses to No Humor in Someone Losing Their Honey: Divorce of Russell & Ashton Wilson

  1. 

    Thank you for your insight on marriage. I was married for 20 years, 3 kids, house, the whole package. When I said I do I meant it. I put everything I had into making it work, but I came to a stopping point, felt like I failed, was the hardest thing I have gone through in my life, absolutely no laughing matter. I will only remarry if I know we’re both in! So thank you again for saying what a lot of us thought.

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  2. 

    This is so true divorce is one of the hardest things I have ever went through no kids but still very hard. I also think that if couples could go back to the moment in time and remember everything they loved about each other at the time they got married and just hold on to that it would put things in perspective.

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  3. 

    It is indeed very sad. Divorce is a hard thing for everyone involved,including extended family. I tried everything to save my marriage, 4 different counselors, 22 years of praying that things would change. Unfortunately there is a breaking point when only one person is willing to fight for the marriage. It is and continues to be the hardest thing I have ever gone through. It has changed me in ways I never thought possible. It is only by the grace of God that I have not become,bitter and jaded,,,at least I hope not :) Thanks for your post !

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  4. 

    Thanks Tony, that was very well said, as someone ending a 33 year marriage after doing everything I could, I still feel all of those things!

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