Podcast: A Man’s Journey from A Born Again Believer to Buddhism

 

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In today’s podcast I interview Dr. Jay Forrest about his journey of faith.  Dr. Forrest has a weekly podcast and blog called Five Minute Dharma where he helps others grow mentally and spiritually through the teachings of Buddha.  He also explains that Buddhism is not a religion as much as it is a philosophy and form of psychology.  However, the former pastor has been on quite the journey to get there!

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1 in 5 Unhappily Married Women say They aren’t Getting this ONE Thing AT ALL. As in NEVER!

67a3198168According to the dating website Ashley Madison a recent survey says that U.S. women top the list when it comes to sexless marriages.  I realize I have written about this before, but it appears that this problem is not getting better…in fact it is getting worse!  Let this stat sink in for a moment, “Twenty-two percent of the American women surveyed admitted to having NO sex with their husbands at all.”  Yes, studies show that 1 in 5 unhappily married women in the U.S. are in a sexless marriage! And to add insult to injury…do you know what the purpose of AshleyMadison.com?  It is a website for married folks who want to cheat on their spouse.

I hope I’m not boring you with my marital posts this week, but this is seriously breaking my heart. And please know that I’m not judging anyone, because I’m not a perfect husband.  In fact, at 47 years-old I am not as good as I once was, but I’m as good once as I ever was (Yes I stole that from Toby Keith).  Women hit their sexual peaks at about the time a man’s testosterone level is dropping, which I consider to be proof that the evolutionary process is far from complete or God has a warped sense of humor.  However, there are no excuses for a “sexless” marriage unless there is a medical problem that can’t be fixed, or both partners agree they just don’t want to do the Humpty dance.

If your sex life is lacking the LUSTer you crave then please consider listening to my podcast & Interview with A SexPert that I posted last month.  You will get some great tips and learn of a book that can put the X back in sex!

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Other stats from various sources:

  • 15 to 20 percent of couples have sex no more than 10 times a year, which experts define as a sexless marriage. — Newsweek
  • 20 to 30 percent of men and 30 to 50 percent of women say they have little or no sex drive. — USA Today
  • 25 percent of all Americans (a third of women and a fifth of men) suffer from a condition known as hypoactive sexual desire (HSD), which is defined as a persistent or recurring deficiency or absence of sexual fantasies or thoughts, or a lack of interest in sex or being sexual. — Psychology Today

How Your Momma Could Be Killing Your Relationship

600x400-motherinlawThere are a few things that could be killing your relationship and one of them could be someone you dearly love! 

 

 

Listen and please share!

4 Easily Missed WARNING Signs that Your Relationship is in Trouble.

Road endsI read an article this morning by Nicole Yorio Jurick of REDBOOK, and I want to share some of it with you, because it rings true for the countless number of couples I’ve counseled over the years. She listed 7 warning signs that divorced couples say they missed during their marriage.  I will just list 4 of them for you and give my brief opinion:

“My husband stopped going places with me–family functions, work events, dinner parties.” – Meredith T., Philadelphia 

This often causes problems, but it doesn’t have too if you will simply communicate.  Find out why your significant other doesn’t want to go to these functions.  I had a friend who was an accountant and her husband was a mechanic.  When they attended her work related parties and events he felt very out-of-place.  He loved his wife and wanted to spend time with her, but felt like a “fish out of water” around her white-collar cronies.  Again, it usually comes back to communication.

“Whenever I walked in the door, my husband greeted me by yelling-about the phone bill, disorganized cabinets, anything and everything!” – Judy L., Pittsburgh 

This is a BIG problem in many relationships.  The spouse comes through the front door after a long day at work, and before even saying hello they begin complaining. And this can go both ways…sometimes a partner walks through the door after work and they would simply love a hug, but instead they are confronted with multiple complaints.  We’ve all heard the saying, “There is a time and place for everything.”  Give your partner time to wind down before launching the torpedo’s of torment.  You both deserve your time to vent, but it’s always better to relax and think it through first.

“She invited my in-laws on every vacation instead of having us spend time alone together.” – Nate S., Charlotte, NC 

When I do premarital counseling I’m always concerned when I hear that the couple is spending a lot of time with future in-laws.  No offense to my female readers, but often times a woman just assumes that her hubby loves spending time with her family as much as she does.  There is a reason that the ancient tradition and teachings involved the words “leave your mother and father.”

If you are dating someone who seems overly attached to their parents then you better hope you LOVE spending time with your future in-laws.  If you don’t care for them or if they simply irritate you then you are in for a rough road of love!  In fact, I would recommend that you live a minimum of a 15 minute drive from family.  And when you don’t get your way it won’t be so easy to run to mommy or daddy to complain.  And remember, of course your parents are going to take your side, because they are hearing YOUR SIDE of the story.

“He always spent money on things without telling me-on tools, electronics, etc. The tipping point was when he bought his mom a car and didn’t understand why I felt angry and betrayed when I found out.” – Sonya S., Palo Alto, CA 

This is a LOADED statement from Sonya S!  Stay with me on this one, because what I’m about to say may piss a few of you off.  First, I would guess that Sonya is trying to do something a spouse should never do…she is parenting her husband. The phrase “without telling me” sends up a red flag.  Now ladies before you start sending me hate mail please know that I agree with her point.  Her husband should have discussed major purchases with her.  However, when either a man or woman uses words or phrases associated with parenting I get concerned.

If you parent your partner then you are turning a marriage into a parent/child relationship.  And while a parent/child relationship is filled with love it is filled with ZERO intimacy.  Men, you aren’t your partner’s daddy, and ladies…you aren’t your partners momma.  After all, you’ve seen their mother or father and do you really want them to picture that when looking at you?

And with all that being said, when you get married it is no longer YOUR money. Your money becomes OUR money.  If you aren’t ready to share then don’t get married.

Why You Shouldn’t Give Up on Your Midlife Marriage!

When approaching midlife a person can begin to feel bored with their life and relationship…so what can they do?  Listen to this week’s The Next Half podcast for answers and to hear the new song from American Young called, “Love is War.”

Ten Minutes with Tony: The What are You Kidding Me Stories that couldn’t be on the air!

ten minutes for itunes jpgTen Minutes with Tony is my chance to share some of the stories that aren’t permitted on the family friendly Fitz in The Morning!!

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Ten Minutes with Tony: 5 Ways to Know if Your Lover is a Loser & Having an Affair!

Ten Minutes with Tony Podcast:  How to Know if You Lover is A Loser, Would you let your 16 year-old son go on vacation with his girlfriends family, and you can insure your _________ for $50,000!

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Here is The ONE Reason You May Hate Your Job!

wired upOn an upcoming podcast you will be able to hear my interview with Chris Sprague who is the author of “The Secret Blueprint to More.”  Chris says the reason many are unhappy with their job or occupation is because they have failed to look at one very important thing…how they are wired.  We often times accept a new job, because we are going to make more money and power, and we forget to think about whether or not it fits our strengths and passions.  So we get excited to get going and a few months in we find ourselves unhappy again.  So we may find another job and repeat the cycle, and we get depressed because we don’t know why this always happens.

The answer to why we find ourselves unhappy in one job after another likely lies in the details.  If you are currently unhappy with your job then sit down and  write a list of the qualities, strengths, and passions that are important to be successful in your current field.  And then honestly ask yourself if that description fits you.  Let me give you an example.  I love the thought of starting any new business adventure, because I am an entrepreneur at heart.  Therefore, when someone gives me an offer to try something new my first reaction is one of excitement and “Let’s do it!”

The problem in the past has been that I don’t examine the details of the new adventure.  In other words, I have been a sucker for every multilevel marketing company ever developed. And I absolutely loved them at first, but then I realized something…I had to recruit people to sell the products (they always say you don’t…but you do).  I had to be assertive or down right pushy to get people to sign up and join my team.  And while some people LOVE that type of environment…I HATE it!  I don’t like applying pressure or hard selling someone, and if a job requires that then I will be miserable and likely unsuccessful.  Why?  Because that is not the way I’m wired.  I’m wired to be relational with others, and that is why I enjoy real estate sales.  In real estate people approach me and ask for my services, which is much different from me approaching them to push my services.  Now, there are times I will approach others despite it being out of my comfort zone.  I do believe we all have to get out of our comfort zones from time to time to be successful, but that should be the exception and not the norm.

So maybe today is the day you begin being honest with yourself.  Make a list and on one side put the word “hate”, in the middle “take it or leave it”, and on the right side write “love.” And then begin putting the things you hate, you can take or leave, or love under each heading.  For example, you may put:  organizing, managing, cleaning, working with numbers, selling, or working with people.  Then look closely at those lists, and begin determining if you are in the right place.  I would love your comments below!

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