I was recently in someone’s home and noticed a stone tablet that I absolutely loved. On the tablet was what I would call the Relationship Alphabet, and for each letter there was very brief relationship advice. Over the next several days I would like to share some of the advice with you. A is for “Admit Mistakes” and I’m not sure people fully understand how powerful this step can be in improving their relationships. There is another way of saying “admit your mistake” and that would be, “Say you are sorry“, but maybe that will be S!
I was raised in a home where both my parent were willing to say they were sorry so this comes easy to me. Well that and I screw up often, and I have had a lot of practice! Many of you may be reading this and saying, “Tony my honey bunny never ever admits they are wrong and I…I always have to say I’m sorry first.” I know that can be difficult, but if it opens up the lanes of communication and thus forgiveness then just keep taking the high road. If it isn’t leading to forgiveness and resolution then I would highly recommend finding a good marriage counselor. Now, let’s think about another situation for a moment. What happens when two people who can’t admit their mistakes get together?
When two stubborn people argue and hurt one another, but never admit they are wrong or say “I’m sorry” then how do they resolve conflict? They don’t…they simply go back to pretending that it never happened, and there is no resolution to the problem. Therefore, as time goes by the pain and resentment are stored in their emotional and relational vault called the heart. Eventually the vault (heart) becomes full of all those things that tear people apart, and ironically they may describe it as a feeling of emptiness. The heart is far from being empty, and in fact it is overflowing with emotional damage. You see, when people learn to say they are truly sorry and admit they are wrong then issues can be resolved, and the healing can begin to take place. Thus, the space in your heart can be filled with what it was designed for…love.
Tony Russell, MA, LMHC (inactive)
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