We have all met Mr. or Ms. Know it All right? They try to one-up every story, monopolize conversations, and they will try like hell to be the first to answer a question…even when they weren’t the one being asked! So what would be the reason for this annoying behavior? Well, it likely revolves around their narcissism or insecurity. Some may say that the narcissist is insecure, and that is what spurs them on toward superiority. I wouldn’t fully disagree with that, but there are a couple of differences I find between those who are acting out of insecurity and those who are truly narcissistic, and I believe it is important to be able to determine the difference. Because one you need to run from, and the other you simply need to run toward.
The insecure person wants to be respected, because they lack self-respect. The insecure Mr. or Ms. Know it All is practically begging to be admired and valued because of a need for acceptance. However, the Narcissistic Mr. or Ms. Know it all feels that you should realize you need them, they are due your admiration, and they are highly valuable to any organization lucky enough to have them.
So the next time you meet someone and they are a Know it All don’t rush to judgement. Figure out where they are coming from. If they are insecure then take the time to breathe life into their soul! Dr. Chuck Swindoll says, “Encouragement is oxygen to the soul.” The insecure person will grow from your encouragement and will eventually stop being a Know it All. The narcissistic Know it All will not. They will feed off of admiration and encouragement, and rather than allowing it to make them a more polite and secure person it tends to inflate the ego. And it leads to them treating others poorly, because they truly see all others as beneath them. To sum up my point, the insecure person feels as though they need you in their life, while the narcissist feels as though you need them in your life.
When I moved to Washington almost 5 years ago I would have told you it was because this is where God wanted me to be. There was little doubt in mine or Amy’s mind that God was sending us from Texas to the great Northwest! Well if this has been part of God’s plan then it was poorly thought out. Yes, we have made some incredible friends here and absolutely love the culture and beauty that surrounds us, but little has gone right for us financially, mentally, physically, and even spiritually.
I only write this because It is my form of therapy, and helps me process it, but it has truly been one disappointment after another. And being a former pastor I know all of the amazing clichés that can be tossed my way like, “God didn’t promise us things would be easy, God puts us through trials to strengthen our faith, & God is there during the storms.” What people don’t like to think about is the fact that maybe…just maybe God had nothing to do with the decision. It is possible that what I thought was God guiding or speaking to me was nothing more than wishful thinking, or gas from a bad plate of lasagna.
Let me give you a great example of what I’m talking about in this blog laced with sarcasm and discouragement. About a year ago I was talking with a lady who informed me that God had used the Wolf’s station vehicle to speak to her (100.7 The Wolf). She said that she was praying about her pastor, whom she thought was a “Wolf in sheep’s clothing”, and then she saw our vehicle pull up next to her! And she knew at that moment that God was communicating with her. So she then likely went to the elders of her church to get rid of the Wolf (aka pastor).
I’m not here to say that God does or doesn’t communicate with us, but I have learned that I need to be very careful when I think God is speaking to me or others. I have never heard an audible voice, but I’ve been thinking…He is God so if He really wanted me to know something wouldn’t it be loud and clear? I just believe that there are more times in life where people believe they are following God when in reality He is following them, and He is likely thinking, “Why in the world would he think I wanted him to do this?”