There comes a time in our life when we need to say, “I have no one to blame.” If you are like me that time may have come later than you hoped, because it is a very health time of awareness. Many go through life blaming their parents, an employer, spouse(s), friends, and for some…even their kids for not being the man or woman they dreamed of being. Sure, all of the aforementioned do influence the projections of our life, but other than our parents we made the decision to enter into the relationships. As I will say again later in this blog post, where you and I are in the world today is a result of the decisions we have made, the relationships we have made, and more importantly…how we have chosen to project ourselves to the world around us. We have all been told that life is not about us, but the quality of our life will be determined by how we choose to project ourselves to others.
Do you remember the great Rodney Dangerfield? He was a comedian whose entire shtick was based on the fact he got no respect. He was the king of self-deprecating humor. One of his lines was, “I went to my psychiatrist and he said I was crazy; so I told him I wanted a second opinion. He said okay, you’re ugly too.” As a child I loved him! And being one of the fat and under achieving kids in the class I realized I could use that same self-deprecation to get laughs. And even as I got thinner and better looking on the outside…I felt the same on the inside. So I continued with my Rodney Dangerfield shtick.
The problem with my decision to project myself as the guy who always screws things up, isn’t very bright, or simply gets “no respect” is that it became a self-fulfilling prophecy. People laugh at the jokes, but there is a part of them that begins to believe what you are saying even if or when there comes a day you don’t. There comes a time in most of our lives when we want to be taken seriously. If we are growing in maturity and getting healthier then we begin to realize we have something to offer the world. We quit blaming everyone else, get our head out of our ass, and then we want our parents, friends, spouse, and everyone else to know we are not who we have led them believe. We no longer want to be the punch line or a punching bag. We no longer want to be told what to do, who to be, or where to go. However, in order for us to change their perceptions we must first change our projections. We have to change what we are projecting to the world around us or they will continue to feel the need to put us in our place. After all, through our words and behavior we have told them we need that in our life! We have projected a persona that says we aren’t capable! It may be that we’ve led others to believe we aren’t capable of managing our own affairs, leading, getting a job done, or making our own decisions. Most people don’t just assume you or I are incapable…we have lead them to believe it.
Let me ask you a few questions to help you see if this “mighty blog” can help you today.
- Who are you in your heart?
- Do you believe you can do more with you life if others would give you the chance?
- Do you wonder why others don’t take you seriously or don’t see your gifts and talents?
- Do you often times feel overlooked or disregarded?
- Do you wonder why others think they have the right to boss you around, treat you like a child, manipulate you, or literally speak down to you?
Focus on that first question for a moment, because it is the place to start. You first must realize that you were put on this earth with gifts and talents. You must understand that you can achieve the things you have dreamed of achieving. Because if you don’t believe it then you sure as hell aren’t going to convince others. The other questions will help you determine what message you are sending to the world around you. Simply put, you and I have to demand respect if we want it from others. Yes small doses of self-deprecating humor and true humility are important for success, but they shouldn’t be your shtick unless you are a comedian, entertainer, or just enjoy it!
Again, if you and I want respect then we will have to demand it. However, we don’t demand it by directly asking for it or being rude to others…we ask for it through how we project ourselves to the world. It is time to introduce everyone to the real you so move out of your heart, into your brain, and out into the world!