When God Pisses You Off

078075e2-c162-42b8-90c1-f4b282d8f69aYou know how people say, “You shouldn’t talk about politics and religion?”  I think that is ridiculous!  So, today we talk about religion and how it plays into our foundation for life and love.  More specifically, what happens to our foundation when we get to that point that we think, “Either God isn’t there or He is deaf?”

I don’t know about you, but it pisses me off when it seems as though God has left the building. Seriously, before going to bed on Sunday night I got on my knees beside of my bed and said, “Seriously God…what are we doing here? Because I’m not feeling you, hearing you, seeing you, and I’m tired of the pain!”   Guess what He said? Not a damn thing!  Guess what changed in my life?   Not a damn thing!  Well, I was able to go to sleep thanks to having a half a Xanax left.  So I guess He could get credit for that? So, “Thank you Jesus for the highly addictive benzo I have left from the last breakup, and forgive me for chasing it with red wine which we know helped you pull of the first miracle. Amen.”

So what do we do next?  For those of us who believe or want to believe in God what do we do when He seems distant? Well, you are going to want to throat punch me for this, but that is when faith truly comes into play.  For me, faith is when we keep following God, loving God, and praying even when He seems to have disappeared.  Remember my motto, do as I say and not as I’ve done.  Because there have been too many times in my life that I’ve given up on God.  And without exception I’ve regretted it.  And that brings me to making a point that will make you roll your eyes.  Ready?  God never leaves you. See, look at your doubting ass rolling your eyes.  I really don’t blame you, but stay with me.

One of my favorite passages from scripture is Psalms 34:18.  Please know I’m not making a joke when I say that the writer of Psalms (King David…the guy who kicked Goliath’s ass) was bipolar.  We never hear from his psychiatrist, but that dude was so impulsive and hit such deep depressions that he had to be struggling with bipolar disorder.  He knew triumph and he knew tragedy like no man on earth and in his greatest pain he said, “The LORD is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed.”

I will turn 50 something years-old on January 3rd.  I put the date so you’ll be reminded to venmo me money.  And I also tell you that so you know that I’ve had my share of “crushed” moments in life.  The last 90 days could easily make it into the Tony Russell Got His Ass Kicked & Crushed Hall of Fame.  And guess what I now know as I look back on those moments?  There was Jesus (see video below)!

I know that many of you reading this are hurting and I want you to know that God is near.  He is near to those who are “crushed in spirit.” He is near to those who are broke, busted, and disgusted.  Trust me, I know you are having trouble believing that right now, but keep reaching up.  And most importantly, don’t give up on Him or YOU!  This is a time of year where many people decide they’d be better off cashing in all the chips.  Don’t choose a permanent solution to a temporary problem.  God has a plan, it isn’t OUR plan, it isn’t in our time, and quite frankly He is slow as hell, but stay with me and let’s ride this out.

Again, please know that I feel some of your pain.  I know what it is like to wake up and wish it was time to go to bed.  I know what it is like to have your heart “crushed” and wish you could suddenly get amnesia.  I know what it is like to hear, “I don’t think I ever really loved you.” I know what it is like to feel like you’ve lost everything.  I know what it is like to wish you could just go back and right your wrongs.  I know what it is like to have such a deep heartache that it seriously feels as though your body hurts! And I also know what it is like when God finally delivers!  Stay with me, stay with God, and get ready for 2020!

I love you,

Tony Russell, The Pastor of Disaster


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Tony Russell

Hello, my name is Tony and I have a lot of great advice, because I have made a lot of mistakes! I am a former licensed counselor and pastor, but I have learned more about life through my experiences than my education. I make my living as the host of the morning show on 98.7 The Bull in Portland, Oregon. Being a counselor didn't stop me from hitting a midlife crisis. I began questioning everything from my self-worth to my spiritual beliefs. And if that wasn't enough, surprise! I found out I would be getting a divorce. This has all lead to a journey that can be full of extreme anxiety, depression, and soul searching. I have the same questions as you do and maybe together we can find some answers. My goal for this blog is to share my journey in hopes that it will help you better navigate this amazing time in life. If you have any questions or comments please feel free to contact me. I know life can be difficult, but I find that it is easier when we do it together!

10 thoughts on “When God Pisses You Off”

  1. You are an amazing light for me right now. It’s God’s work that your blog is something I so look forward to reading. So many points you share are things I’m needing help with. You are helping be straighten my scary crooked path. Thank for for the best gift ever. Love you too💛


  2. Thank you Tony, my boyfriend just broke things off, he cannot deal with my children, can’t be with me…so he is moving out this weekend…Love is not enough , he says or was it ever really there. ..ouch!!
    He is moving out this weekend…right before the Christmas holiday…I’m going to stay as strong as I can and give them the best Christmas I can. While I cry myself to sleep every night. I pray the God will take this pain away.. and I can stay strong for my kids. Thank you again, Tony
    All my love and prayers to you and your family. Tammy


  3. You nailed this one Tony, I have also found that when we can’t hear God it is because we are yelling to hard for Him to get a word in edgewise. My mom used to say you need to shut up to hear the wee small voice inside us. Lastly remember the poem “Footprints” by anonymous. Stay Faithful and Merry Christmas Tony, we really miss you up here in Seattle with your old tall buddy.


  4. Thanks for sharing your thoughts Tony! I agree with you. Except for the …”Pastor of Disaster” part. LMBO. It did make me chuckle though. I find that it is soooo important to focus on “An attitude of Gratitude”! Especially in the midst of lifes challenges and disappointments. Starting the day with a positive thought sets the tone for everything that follows. Instead of focusing on your troubles and worries, you focus and dwell on your BLESSINGS! And then throughout the day when negative or stressful thoughts come up, think about the MANY good things in your life that we can be “thankful for”. I also like the saying …”It’s supposed to be HARD, if it wasn’t hard, everyone would do it. The hard is what makes it GREAT!” God is just turning us into those beautiful DIAMONDS!


    1. I agree that attitude helps but I also try to remember that there are people so “deep in the weeds” that they can’t quite get to the gratitude list. Sometimes a person has to sit in the pain and grieve before they are able to get to the gratitude. I definitely am a person who should be move from sitting in “it” to being grateful. Thank you for your great comment


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