Women have friends. Seriously, they have close friends. They even travel together! Did you hear me guys? They literally call each other up and plan vacations, nights out together, and concerts. We don’t do that! We did when we were younger, but somewhere along the line we just resorted to calling each other a few times a year and calling it a friendship.
Over the last few years of dating I have been amazed at how many friends women have and how much time they spend together. Look at their Instagram pages…there are tons of awesome vacation pictures of them together. First, let me say that I believe this is a sign of a healthy person. The women I’ve met that go from relationship to relationship (much like guys) are not healthy. In fact, if a woman doesn’t have her little estrogen small group then you may want to move on, but I have no research to back that up.
What saddens me is that many of these women have found that men can’t be depended on but their friends are solid as a rock! Men come and go, but they can depend on their friends. However, I’m not going to dive into judging my own kind…it’s just an observation. I simply want to point out to men that we need to follow their lead.
I have to be honest and say that while I have some amazing friends that I love like brothers, and want to talk to them occasionally…I really don’t want to vacation with them. Honestly, I don’t really even want to have dinner with them. I’m not sure why, but if I’m going to go to dinner, a movie, Las Vegas, or anywhere in the world…I prefer the company of a woman. Especially that woman who is like a best friend. I just love the way they smell, their smooth skin, and I can go on and on. There is NOTHING better than having all of that in the opposite sex, but I digress and I show the weakness in my foundation.
Before you and I can be in a healthy relationship with the opposite sex I believe we have to first be good with ourselves. And yes I hate this crap, but the truth is…we need to learn to date ourselves, love ourselves, and enjoy the company of friends, before we are ready to move on to dating. I don’t have research to back this up other than three years of dating. The women I’ve found who are healthy aren’t going from one relationship to another. They have healthy friendships, they are independent, and while you get the feeling they want you…they don’t have to have you. Why? Because they have learned to love their self, their friends, and they are likely a mom first and foremost. Meaning, you aren’t going to meet their kids until month 6 of dating.
I know this will feel weird for many of us dudes, but we need to learn to first be alone. I’m working on that and not happy with it at all! We also need to build or rekindle friendships. And here is something to think about, how about JUST friendships with women? Yes, just make friends with a woman and don’t try to date or anything else! This is something new to me. In the last few months I’ve established and fostered healthy friendships with women. What a gift! They teach me so much about…guess who…women!
So let’s wrap this blog up since I’m writing it from happy hour on a Wednesday night. Ladies, keep your friendships. Men, build deeper friendships. Men and women, learn to love each other and offer one another both a deep friendship and true intimacy.
I love ya,
Tony, The Pastor of Disaster