Want a GREAT marriage? Then CLICK HERE to Speak Their Language

Amy and I will be celebrating our 15 YEAR WEDDING ANNIVERSARY this week!  And if I could only give you one piece of advice it would be to read “The Five Love Languages.”  Believe it or not, you and your significant other don’t speak the same language.  Yeah, you knew that already, but you should buy the book to learn their language.  But that will only be the first step.  You then must begin to speak it!

Click here to order the book from Amazon:  The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts

Do you feel like you don’t get any respect? These 5 Questions can Help Change that!

rodThere comes a time in our life when we need to say, “I have no one to blame.”  If you are like me that time may have come later than you hoped, because it is a very health time of awareness.  Many go through life blaming their parents, an employer, spouse(s), friends, and for some…even their kids for not being the man or woman they dreamed of being.  Sure, all of the aforementioned do influence the projections of our life, but other than our parents we made the decision to enter into the relationships.  As I will say again later in this blog post, where you and I are in the world today is a result of the decisions we have made, the relationships we have made, and more importantly…how we have chosen to project ourselves to the world around us.  We have all been told that life is not about us, but the quality of our life will be determined by how we choose to project ourselves to others.

Do you remember the great Rodney Dangerfield?  He was a comedian whose entire shtick was based on the fact he got no respect.  He was the king of self-deprecating humor.  One of his lines was, “I went to my psychiatrist and he said I was crazy; so I told him I wanted a second opinion.  He said okay, you’re ugly too.”  As a child I loved him!  And being one of the fat and under achieving kids in the class I realized I could use that same self-deprecation to get laughs.  And even as I got thinner and better looking on the outside…I felt the same on the inside.  So I continued with my Rodney Dangerfield shtick.

The problem with my decision to project myself as the guy who always screws things up, isn’t very bright, or simply gets “no respect” is that it became a self-fulfilling prophecy.  People laugh at the jokes, but there is a part of them that begins to believe what you are saying even if or when there comes a day you don’t.  There comes a time in most of our lives when we want to be taken seriously.  If we are growing in maturity and getting healthier then we begin to realize we have something to offer the world.  We quit blaming everyone else, get our head out of our ass, and then we want our parents, friends, spouse, and everyone else to know we are not who we have led them believe.  We no longer want to be the punch line or a punching bag.  We no longer want to be told what to do, who to be, or where to go.  However, in order for us to change their perceptions we must first change our projections.  We have to change what we are projecting to the world around us or they will continue to feel the need to put us in our place.  After all, through our words and behavior we have told them we need that in our life!  We have projected a persona that says we aren’t capable!  It may be that we’ve led others to believe we aren’t capable of managing our own affairs, leading, getting a job done, or making our own decisions.  Most people don’t just assume you or I are incapable…we have lead them to believe it.

Let me ask you a few questions to help you see if this “mighty blog” can help you today.

  • Who are you in your heart?
  • Do you believe you can do more with you life if others would give you the chance?
  • Do you wonder why others don’t take you seriously or don’t see your gifts and talents?
  • Do you often times feel overlooked or disregarded?
  • Do you wonder why others think they have the right to boss you around, treat you like a child, manipulate you, or literally speak down to you?

Focus on that first question for a moment, because it is the place to start.  You first must realize that you were put on this earth with gifts and talents.  You must understand that you can achieve the things you have dreamed of achieving.  Because if you don’t believe it then you sure as hell aren’t going to convince others.  The other questions will help you determine what message you are sending to the world around you.  Simply put, you and I have to demand respect if we want it from others.  Yes small doses of self-deprecating humor and true humility are important for success, but they shouldn’t be your shtick unless you are a comedian, entertainer, or just enjoy it!

Again, if you and I want respect then we will have to demand it.  However, we don’t demand it by directly asking for it or being rude to others…we ask for it through how we project ourselves to the world.  It is time to introduce everyone to the real you so move out of your heart, into your brain, and out into the world!

Podcast: A Man’s Journey from A Born Again Believer to Buddhism

 

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In today’s podcast I interview Dr. Jay Forrest about his journey of faith.  Dr. Forrest has a weekly podcast and blog called Five Minute Dharma where he helps others grow mentally and spiritually through the teachings of Buddha.  He also explains that Buddhism is not a religion as much as it is a philosophy and form of psychology.  However, the former pastor has been on quite the journey to get there!

The Only Way to FULLY Enjoy Life is To FULLY Embrace This One Thing!

live it up, tony russell, fitz in the morningI had the privilege of talking with Stephen Garrett who has written some incredible books encouraging us to live life to the fullest by embracing the one thing that we fear the most.  To hear exactly what that is please listen to the podcast, and go ahead and hit share below on one of the social media tabs!

The Next Half Podcast: 

Who Loves Ya!

Tony Russell

I took a walk with Jesus & Buddha and they told me to tell you this one simple truth!

LoveYourselfSignI consider myself to be a huge hypocrite!  Seriously, according to Merriam-Webster.com, hypocrisy is “The behavior of people who do things that they tell other people not to do:  behavior that does not agree with what someone claims to believe or feel.” And by that definition I qualify as a card-carrying member of hypocrisy.

I’m not talking about being a hypocrite in that I have some dark and “sinful” lifestyle, and I teach others to live a life of purity.  I’m talking about the fact that, for the most part, I see the good in others.  I honestly like most people who I meet, and believe greatness lies within them.  And I have no problem encouraging others by pointing out their good qualities through compliments, kindness, and compassion. However, I have trouble being encouraging, kind, and compassionate to myself!  I tend to focus on my shortcomings and flaws, and at times say very harsh things to MYSELF.  Yes I talk to myself, and at times even have arguments!  I am admitting to you that I have trouble caring for and accepting myself.  What about you?  My guess is that many of you share my problem of easily practicing self-rejection, but difficulty with self-love.

Every great spiritual leader has taught the importance of loving and accepting yourself.  Jesus said we are to love others as we love ourselves.  Most may believe that He was saying we already love ourselves; so we should love others as well. Actually, He was teaching us that in order to truly love others as they need to be loved…we need to learn to love ourselves. And Buddha taught it like this, “You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.” And I really enjoy the following paragraph taken from Abundance Tapestry:

Buddha observes, “you can travel around the world to search for someone more lovable than yourself, and yet that person is never to be found.” In other words, the search is not external but internal. You first find it from within. To love the self is to be in continuous connection with your true essence. You learn to accept, appreciate and affirm who you are.

I have given you enough to digest today, but let me encourage you to focus on the above spiritual thoughts today.  You and I need to begin loving ourselves as we would like others to love us (((rewind))) You and I need to begin loving ourselves as we would like others to love us.  Be compassionate and caring with yourself, and begin to fully accept yourself.  The more I accept myself (faults and all) the healthier I become spiritually, physically, and emotionally.

Who Love Ya?

Tony Russell

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There are TWO Things We all Need: 1-Sex 2-______________

In this podcast I speak with my good friend & nationally syndicated radio host Terry Jaymes about the meaning of life. 

Please subscribe to the podcast and share it with a friend!

Questioning God in Midlife

exit-from-crisis-signI spend a lot of time talking about spiritual issues with men and women that are around my age.  And many say that they came to a point where they began to ask their selves if their spiritual beliefs were real.  Meaning, did they truly believe what they said they did about God, or were they simply carrying on a family tradition. So many of us began to dig a little deeper into our spiritual minds, souls, and brains.

It no longer felt right to say we believed something, because mommy, daddy, and the preacher said it was true.  And what about the bible?  Do we really believe that all of mankind is cursed with illness, death, and sin because a woman listened to a talking snake and then ate a piece of fruit? Would God really send a flood that would kill moms, babies, and everyone else by drowning them, but spare Noah who ended up getting drunk and having sex with his own daughter?

It was strange to me, because when I was a pastor I didn’t often think about those questions, and if I did I would simply say, “Gods ways are not our ways.”  Translation for that is, “I don’t want to look too deep into that question, because I may not like the answer.”  But there came a day when sweeping my questions under the Christian rug didn’t work.  I knew that it would be uncomfortable, but I had to get some real answers and examine my faith.

I realize that for some of you this may sound blasphemous or sinful.  And if you feel that way you will probably hate my blogs, but I hope you will stick around.  My point is not to be critical of scripture by any means, but to say that some of us begin to struggle with just having blind faith.  We can’t ignore the contradictions we see in the bible, the unjust ways in which many suffer, and the lack of integrity among the many that profess to have great faith.  For some they can just continue on, and pretend that none of the above exists, and others will need more clarity.  I was one who took the leap, and what I was about to learn would literally scare the hell out of me.

My leap of faith or leap into the lack of faith started by reading everything I could that was written by…ready for it…atheist or agnostics.  And I watched YouTube videos of Christopher Hitchens & Richard Dawkins attempting to discredit scripture and creationism. I downloaded podcasts from former pastors who now consider themselves to be “deconverted.”  And before I give you my thoughts on these interesting characters let me backup.  I want to tell you one of the things that really made me want to take a look at the other side of the holy hedges.

I work with a young man that is absolutely the nicest guy you could ever meet.  He is always polite, thoughtful, respectful, and has an incredible work ethic.  He is faithful to his wife, and loves her dearly.  In Christian terms you would say he seems to walk in the spirit of God…a very positive energy surrounds him.  And he is from part of the “bible belt” so I just assumed he was a Christian.  WRONG!  I was in a conversation with one of his close friends that informed me that Mr. Nice Guy is an agnostic.  I was shocked!  Because I was well into my adult years thinking most atheist and agnostics were people who never smiled and were miserable.  And this guy was far from miserable.  In fact he seems so happy that it can be annoying!  So how could someone who didn’t believe in Christ be more Christlike than most Christian people I know (including me)?  How can someone give off the Holy Spirit vibe if they don’t have him, she, or it?  At one time in my life I had preached that these people were lost and living in darkness, and now I wanted to see if they had actually been the ones to “see the light!”

In my upcoming blog posts I will share with you where this journey has lead me in my faith.

TO BE CONTINUED…

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