Help Me with My Holiday Dilemma: Robbing A Bank vs. Becoming A Male Stripper

93806Well the holidays are here and with them brings joy, happiness, and a crap load of STRESS!  So I want to do things differently this year, and keep all the joy and happiness, and ditch the stress.  And to ditch the crap load of stress I’ll need what?  Correct!  A crap load of cash!

Let’s be honest and admit the holidays are very expensive.  So to offset the expense I’ve decided to engage in criminal or immoral behavior this year.  I know it sounds horrible seeing as though part of the holiday includes celebrating baby Jesus, but I can’t take another stressful holiday season.

So my criminal plan may involve a bank robbery.  Now don’t worry, I will be completely unarmed and make that clear as I walk to the counter.  I’m simply going to demand they return all the money they took from me this year.  I want them to return all my ATM fees, overdraft fees, technology fees, under the minimum balance fees, and fees they used to process my fees.  So if you think about it…I’m only robbing them of what they robbed of me.  I’m hoping the judge will see it that way as well, and let me out of jail before the kids open their gifts on Christmas morning.  Now, I do believe in the power of a Plan B so I have another idea.

My plan B is to become a stripper.  And some of you middle aged guys may want to get in on this one, because I’ll need a team.  I’m thinking of putting together a group of guys in their forties and fifties, and we’ll call ourselves the Swinging Richards.  And here is the the genius of Plan B, we will market ourselves to senior living facilities and nursing homes! So if you swing low or hell, if you swing at all, please consider joining me.

Happy Holidays!

Tony

p.s. This was sarcasm so please don’t report me to the police who will be busy with real bank robbers

Today’s Holiday Links:

Visit the Official LEGO Online Shop!

Shop Amazon’s Electronics Holiday Gift Guide – High-Tech Presents for Students

Shop Amazon – Thanksgiving Dinner and Desserts – Prepare the Perfect Feast

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Why Being A Radio CO-host Sucks! :)

jobbThe title of this blog is misleading, because being a radio co-host doesn’t always suck.  And yes I feel grateful to have a job where I work with fun people and get a chance to bring a smile to people’s face daily.  Also, I’m not technically a co-host, because a co-host is a 50/50 partner in hosting the show (thus the CO in host).  I’m more of a side-kick.  In other words, if your name ain’t on the bumper sticker then you aren’t a co-host.

So being a sidekick is sort of like being the center for the quarterback.  You are involved in every single offensive play…you give the ball to the QB, but he is the one who will make the magic happen and in turn get the glory (and major cash).  And that is obviously fair in seeing as though he or she has the bulk of talent and responsibility.  Now, the center is happy to be on the team, and to be part of the magic, but he secretly wishes that God had given him the body and abilities to be the man!

The difference between me and the center is that Fitz is my QB and I’m basically tied to his sweet ass wherever he chooses to go (or not go).  And quite honestly, if he would choose to go to another city or station I would likely make more money…a lot more money. Why?  Because the new station and Fitz will want the whole team together.  If Fitz chooses to stay at a station then they already have his team tied down.  Understand?  Good because you need to understand all of that to fully enjoy, and understand my first and only country song called, “Stuck” which is posted below.  And I also want you to understand that I absolutely LOVE living in the northwest, and I adore the people here in Washington.  If it were up to me I would live here the rest of my life, but that won’t likely happen because the cost of living is ridiculously high.

When you have a family of 5 like I do that means you are going to want a nice home in a decent school district, and safe city. So here in the northwest that means you will need around $100,000 to put down on the average home.  The average home will cost around $500,000.  Compare that to other states like Texas where I sold my 4 bedroom home for $150,000!  My rent alone here is $2,300 a month, and that is actually considered a great deal.

So how much should you earn to comfortably afford the average 3 or 4 bedroom home in Western Washington?  It would likely be around $150,000 a year!  So with all of that being said I hope you can understand my frustration with this beautiful part of the country, and knowing that it looks like things aren’t going to get better anytime soon.  I love ya and hope you enjoy my song!

I thought it was God talking, but it just turned out to be gas!

GodWhen I moved to Washington almost 5 years ago I would have told you it was because this is where God wanted me to be.  There was little doubt in mine or Amy’s mind that God was sending us from Texas to the great Northwest!  Well if this has been part of God’s plan then it was poorly thought out.  Yes, we have made some incredible friends here and absolutely love the culture and beauty that surrounds us, but little has gone right for us financially, mentally, physically, and even spiritually.

I only write this because It is my form of therapy, and helps me process it, but it has truly been one disappointment after another.  And being a former pastor I know all of the amazing clichés that can be tossed my way like, “God didn’t promise us things would be easy, God puts us through trials to strengthen our faith, & God is there during the storms.”  What people don’t like to think about is the fact that maybe…just maybe God had nothing to do with the decision. It is possible that what I thought was God guiding or speaking to me was nothing more than wishful thinking, or gas from a bad plate of lasagna.

Let me give you a great example of what I’m talking about in this blog laced with sarcasm and discouragement.  About a year ago I was talking with a lady who informed me that God had used the Wolf’s station vehicle to speak to her (100.7 The Wolf).  She said that she was praying about her pastor, whom she thought was a “Wolf in sheep’s clothing”, and then she saw our vehicle pull up next to her!  And she knew at that moment that God was communicating with her.  So she then likely went to the elders of her church to get rid of the Wolf (aka pastor).

I’m not here to say that God does or doesn’t communicate with us, but I have learned that I need to be very careful when I think God is speaking to me or others.  I have never heard an audible voice, but I’ve been thinking…He is God so if He really wanted me to know something wouldn’t it be loud and clear?  I just believe that there are more times in life where people believe they are following God when in reality He is following them, and He is likely thinking, “Why in the world would he think I wanted him to do this?”

A Married Lady Considers Leaving for A Facebook Flame: Hear My Advice & Give Yours

Road endsThanks for giving me ten minutes of your time.  I received a BIG question from a listener, and I want to share my answer and hear some of yours!  She is wanting to know if she should have an affair, but before we get to that I want to give you the top 5 things HAPPY couples have in common.

Six Signs Your New Honey isn’t Over Their Ex

heartI recently read an article that listed signs that someone is not over their ex love.  And since many of you have returned back to the dating scene I thought I would share them with you, and then I will briefly give you my thoughts.  So here are the signs your new love interest isn’t over their old one:

  • They talk about them often.
  • They are searching for them online, and checking out their Facebook OFTEN.
  • They keep in touch them.
  • They get annoyed when finding out their old love is dating someone new.
  • It’s been less than three months since their break up.
  • They haven’t ended the relationship with their ex.

I’ve actually read research that says if your partner keeps bringing up and/or talking about someone from work, school, or etc. it is a sign they may be cheating.  In this case we are assuming you aren’t married and just beginning to date.  If they continually talk about their ex then guard your heart, because they likely still have feelings for them  I don’t think this means you have to “ditch” them, but you should be careful.

If they are searching for the ex online or hitting their Facebook on a regular basis then “buyer beware.”  But remember, we are all curious so don’t jump to conclusions if it is just an occasional glance at the social media sites.  Now, if they are constantly in touch with the ex through Facebook, email, and even talking on the phone then I would recommend you tell them to give you a call when they are ready to move on!

The last three in the list above seem obvious, but in case you are like me and a slightly naive lets talk about them.  If your new love interest gets visually upset that their ex is in a new relationship then take three steps back, turn to the right, and make a run for it.  Yes, we all get a little jealous even when we don’t want an ex, but if it goes beyond that then their heart is still on the mend.

The last two can be combined, because they are obviously a huge red flag!  If it has been less than three months since your new beau or beauty’s breakup then they aren’t ready to move on just yet. I’m not saying you shouldn’t move forward, but just know you are rolling the dice on getting your heart broke.  And if they are still in a relationship then they are NOT your new love interest…you are their mistress or gigolo!  I know they may be promising you that one day you’ll be together forever, but it’s likely you will be waiting forever for that to happen.  Run like your ass is on fire!

 

How to Stop Emotional Eating & Take Control of Your Health @_KimberlySnyder

I recently posted a blog about my great experience with the Dr. Oz Rapid 2 Week Weight Loss Program, and the number of people who read it were shocking!  Most of us seem to struggle with getting the weight off, and keeping it off.  Well, part of the reason for that may be because when we are stressed, depressed, anxious, or all of the above we grab something to eat.  And when we hit midlife we can be extremely stressed, which makes it even tougher for us to stay healthy.  Kimberly Snyder gives some of us “emotional eaters” some great tips that will help us turn to the right places and/or food when we are feeling a emotional.

By Kimberly Snyder, How to Stop Emotional Eating & Take Control of Your Health (KimberlySnyder.net):

You settle in at your desk after a particularly stressful meeting, but suddenly feel compelled to get back up, walk around, and…grab a donut. You try to stop yourself by staying at your desk or just continuing to walk past the snacks. You may even think you’ve succeeded for a minute, but that nagging feeling returns.

You sigh. You give in, and for a little while, that rush of dopamine you got from the candy makes you feel better. Then you feel worse because you caved, but you don’t know how to stop emotional eating.

Could you be addicted to food?

The Science Behind Food Addiction

If you feel like you’ll never be able to control yourself around certain comfort foods (they’re different for everyone but usually share a few commonalities) because you lack the willpower, I have three bits of good information for you:

  1. It’s not that you lack willpower.
  2. There’s science involved.
  3. You can stop it.

Really, you can.

But first you have to understand what’s going on in your body—and in your brain—when the urge to eat unhealthy foods, especially in large quantities, sets in. And you have to get to the root of the emotions that are playing off of your addiction.

When you search your soul and stay mindful and prepared, you set yourself up for success in kicking your food addiction and emotional eating habits.

What Happens When You Get What You Want: Giving in to Addiction

As with just about any kind of addiction, your brain gets a shock of feel-good dopamine when you eat what you’re craving. You may feel nearly euphoric (thanks to the opioid production that can accompany high levels of fat or sugar intake) for a minute once you finally give in, but the feeling doesn’t last.

emotional eating 6

You’ve probably experienced something similar (don’t worry, I’m not saying you’re addicted to food if you have!) before. Everyone has cravings. You know the feeling you get when you finally satisfy that craving? Imagine that, amplified and much more difficult to satiate.

I found a study that suggests food addiction works in the same way as drug or alcohol addiction. Not only do certain foods seem irresistible and make you feel good for a minute, but it takes more and more of them over time to satiate your craving. That’s why you may not be able to stop at one cookie, one slice of pizza, or a single handful of chips.

The Link Between Food Addiction and Obesity

Sadly, nobody’s craving massive amounts of kale or carrots when they’re dealing with emotional eating or food addiction. It’s always the salty, sweet, or fatty foods that aren’t good for you. These are often referred to as “highly palatable foods.”

(I find the term kind of funny since I think fruits, veggies, nuts, and grains are highly palatable. Don’t you?)

Sometimes—but not always—food addiction results in obesity because of the types of food usually involved, which can then lead to additional health problems. You don’t have to be obese to suffer from food addiction. And if you’re carrying around some extra pounds on your frame, that doesn’t necessarily mean you’re addicted to food.

Signs that You May Be Addicted to Food

Food addiction goes beyond the occasional craving that you sometimes satisfy. Here are some clues that you may be addicted:

  • Once you satisfy the craving, you still want to eat more.
  • You find yourself needing more and more of the food to satisfy the craving.
  • Your eating habits are getting in the way of your health, your weight loss goals, your relationships, or any other aspect of your life.
  • You find yourself eating when you’re not even hungry.
  • When you try to control your eating habits, you find it extremely challenging.
  • You feel anxious or irritable when you try to cut certain foods from your diet.
  • You eat to affect your mood, not just satiate your hunger.
  • Your eating habits make you feel bad about yourself.

For an in-depth look at food addiction and more help determining if you suffer from it, you can take a look at Yale’s Food Addiction Scale.

What Does That Have to Do with Emotional Eating?

For starters, there’s a whole lot of emotion involved in food addiction! Yes, there are the cravings that seem to be almost physical, but there’s probably a nagging feeling that sets off a binge (it can happen with other types of addiction, too). Maybe you can pinpoint it at the time, maybe you can’t.

emotional eating 5

Food addiction and emotional eating can feel a little like an endless cycle at times.

There’s anxiety around not eating the foods you want. You eat them. You feel depressed, guilty, or you hate yourself for giving in. That creates a whole new round of negative emotions and guess what? You want to eat more to soothe them. Vicious, right?

The physical body and the mind are linked together, so it’s no wonder that the physical act of eating can sometimes become a way of dealing with the troubles on your mind.

You can break the cycle.

Your mind and body will still be linked, of course, but they’ll both become fresher and lighter. You know how the Beauty Detox books talk about your digestive system getting all gunked up from toxins? Similar situation here—in your mind.

Yes, it’s hard at first, but: It. Is. Possible.

Keep in mind that just because you give in to emotional eating sometimes, that doesn’t mean you’re addicted to food. The tips I’ll share in a minute will help you avoid emotional eating, too, though, so even if you’ve decided you’re not addicted per se, keep reading.

How to Avoid Emotional Eating

Avoiding emotional eating takes mindfulness and preparation.

Recognize It When It Shows Up

Physical hunger and emotional hunger are two very different thing. When you’re physically hungry, it doesn’t matter if it’s a kale salad or a piece of pizza. You just want to eat something to get the gnawing in your stomach to go away. Emotional eating (and food addiction) usually revolves around something a little more specific than that.

emotional eating 4

Are you really hungry?

You can ask yourself this before you reach for a comfort food or before you reach for the next round of whatever it is you’re eating (so you caved and had a donut…tell yourself you satisfied the craving and then move into one of the other methods for fighting emotional eating, like distraction or writing in a journal). If you’re very specific about what you want (like another donut), it’s probably not physical hunger.

Come up with Healthy Alternatives Before the Urge Strikes

Success relies on planning.

Sweet tooth? Try these recipes. See which one’s your favorite and then make sure you always have them around (or at least the ingredients you need):

Keep some of these in the freezer or fridge so they’re nearby when you want to eat and you want something sweet. Though desserts should still be enjoyed in moderation, at least this way you’re getting whole foods, not unhealthy ingredients from processed foods.

If you tend to go for savory snacks or fatty ones instead, try:

Distract Yourself

At Work:

A short walk may not be your thing. I know on a limited level, when I really wanted to eat some of the sweets in the office, a quick walk through the building wasn’t enough. If anything, I might have found myself walkingtoward the candy bucket. It works for some people, but it was never enough for me.

Granted, at work you’re probably kind of limited on options, but if you have a little bit of freedom to come and go as you like (to a degree), try taking a five to ten minute walk outside in the sunshine. Get on Pinterest (set a timer!) or watch a funny YouTube video (just make sure it’s not one of the 20 minute ones! Keep it short!).

emotional eating 3

Even a few deep breaths, eyes closed, may do the trick (put on some headphones or go hide in the bathroom if your desk area’s not quiet enough). Emotional eating is inspired by stress, and if you can learn tomanage that stress, you’re so much closer to avoiding that junk food you really don’t want to eat.

If the treats you’re craving aren’t in the break room, you could go in there and make yourself a cup of tea. Keep a few bags of your favorite flavor at your desk.

At Home:

At home, you have a number of options:

  • Walk the dog.
  • Look up fitness classes you can take and have a list somewhere in your house so you can easily get up and attend one you love if it’s available at the time.
  • Do a quick yoga sequence (Kim has some on YouTube!).
  • Write, even if it’s just a note to someone you love.
  • Call a friend.
  • Clean a room in your house.
  • Dance out the stress with your favorite music blasting.
  • Meditate.
  • Take a nap.

Dive into Your Feelings with a Journal

I don’t suffer from food addiction, but I have been overcome by occasional bouts of emotional eating in the past. I know the guilt and general feeling of, “What just happened and why did I do that?” that replace those good feelings that the dopamine provides.

emotional eating 2

Journaling is your best friend. You may be feeling a little skeptical. I was. I thought I didn’t have time. I thought I wouldn’t learn anything I didn’t already know. After all, it was all in my head already, right?

Sometimes you have to write things down to see what you really think or feel, though. Have you ever tried to knit or crochet? Tug on that one string and you begin to unravel the skein and turn it into something useable. Try to use the whole skein at once and you get nowhere.

Writing is like that. You’re forced to take a little at a time and digest it.Then comes the next bit, and you’re able to work through whatever’s bothering you in much more manageable pieces.

It’s also like talking to a friend without having to unload on someone else (I know some people don’t like to do that, and if you’re not even sure what’s bothering you, it may be intimidating to just start talking with an actual person).

Journaling is private, it’s cheap, and it’s totally worth it. It also doesn’t hinder your weight loss or health goals.

Think you don’t have time to sit down and write? Think about what you would be doing instead. Would you be in front of the television with a box of cookies or ice cream? Even one show is 30 minutes and that’s plenty of time to get a good start.

The goal is to get to the core cause of the emotions that are making you want to eat unhealthy things, especially when you’re not even hungry.

Tiny Buddha has amazing tips for using a journal to heal and thrive. Too Much on Her Plate takes a slightly different approach and talks about using a food journal not to record every little bite you eat, but how you feel before, during, and after eating.

You Won’t Be Perfect Overnight, and That Is Okay!

Anything worth doing takes thought, mindfulness, dedication, and work. Learning how to stop emotional eating and take your life and health back into your own hands is no exception. You won’t be perfect overnight. Don’t expect to be. It’s okay.

We’re all works in progress. If we’re not dealing with food addiction and emotional eating, it’s something else. Maybe it’s stress. Maybe it’s staying mindful and present at all (or most) times. No one is perfect, but we can all strive to become our best selves.

Love yourself. Appreciate yourself. Accept yourself, whether you’ve successfully avoided a prime emotional eating opportunity or you had a slip-up. Vow to continue with your goals no matter what, and it will get easier.

Do you suffer from food addiction or emotional eating? Do you have any tips of your own to share? If not, which of the tips above do you think you’ll be trying soon?

The post How to Stop Emotional Eating and Take Control of Your Healthappeared first on kimberlysnyder.

Why Giving A Sh#! Could Be Ruining Your Life

tomI’ve always loved the expression, “I just don’t give a shit.”  In my professional opinion it’s a sign you are getting healthier and happier when you are saying it several times a day!  In fact, I bet you have found yourself admiring those who you believe simply don’t give a shit.  And that is my hope and prayer for you today my blessed friends.  I want you to increase the amount of times you don’t give a shit in life.  It will make you a much happier person, and this is especially true when you can say I don’t give a shit:

  • What others think about me.
  • What others say about me.
  • What others think I should do.
  • What others think I should believe.
  • What others will think of this decision.
  • What others will think about the way I look.

And those are just a few of the “don’t give a shits” I could think of at this moment.  So if you can think of others please feel free to add them below in the comment section!  It is when we give a shit about other’s opinion(s) of us that we can be lead into a world of hypocrisy, and even more detrimental…a world where we fail to be ourselves.

I don’t want you to think I am saying we should treat others poorly or be arrogant.  I simply want to encourage you to stop…stop giving a shit what everyone else thinks.  There are always times in life where we need to mold our behavior to fit the expectations of others, because it is the way we stay employed, get through school, and generally succeed in life.  However, it should not be a way of life.  If conforming to the expectations of others is something we are doing more often than not then it can lead to depression and anxiety.

I’ll be honest with you by admitting this is still a tough one for me.  In fact, I think it is very difficult for those of us that were raised in the world of legalistic Christianity.  I actually noticed one of my pastor friends using the LMBO on Facebook, because he didn’t want to offend anyone by even using the initial for the word “ass” in LMAO.  I can’t tell you the number of pastors and Christians I’ve known who told me they won’t drink a beer or glass of wine in a restaurant where they may see someone they know, and then they may say, “But if I go out-of-town I will!”  You probably have to be from the south to understand the logic in that completely illogical way of thinking.  But regardless of our religious beliefs we all have a group of people we tend to conform and perform for don’t we?  And if we aren’t careful we can go through life performing and conforming, which means we are never truly being ourselves.  So my challenge to you today is to stop performing and conforming, and that my friends will be very…transforming.

PLEASE SHARE WITH OTHERS BY CLICKING ONE OF THE BUTTONS BELOW, and please stop giving a shit!

6 Questions to Ask Yourself Before Marrying or Moving In with Someone with Children

step kidsI am at that age where I meet a lot of people who are getting remarried.  And when you get remarried in your 30s or 40s there is a very good chance you will getting a package deal.  In other words, your new hubby or honey will have children.  As I’ve told you before I was very lucky in that Amy’s child was only 3 when we got married, which made it much easier than if she had been a teenager.  And she and I quickly bonded, I love her, and I consider her to be mine all mine!  However, I’m sorry to say that is very rare.  I have lost track of the number of people I have counseled or simply had conversations with that had very bad experiences with step-children.  And quite honestly after hearing many of their stories I felt sorry for them.  As we all know, kids can be cruel…especially to a step-parent.  But there are also some stories that I hear, and I want to say, “Your expectations for the children are way too high.”  And there have been times I have asked, “You really don’t like those kids do you?”  And they look at me like I’m a horrible person, because of course they love the children…their children for goodness sake!  They don’t want to admit they simply don’t like their new spouse’s children, because they believe it will make them look like a bad person.  

I’m going to say something that may upset you, and I want to be honest in saying I have no research to back it up.  This statement is based solely on my observations over the last 20 years of working with people, and while it sounds sexist and judgmental I assure you that’s not my intention.  Here it goes…I believe it’s much easier and likely for a man to accept another man’s child than for a woman to accept another woman’s child.  Yes, I’m bluntly saying I believe it is easier for a man to love and accept children from his new wife’s previous marriage, than it is for women to bond with, love, and accept his children from a previous marriage.  Now here is the good news for some of you.  This is almost a moot point if the children are grown and out of the home.  And when I say out…I mean out-out.  As in they ain’t moving back in, and they will rarely be dragging their ass through your front door!  However, if they are still in the home then “buyer beware!”

I’ve come up with a few questions that I believe people need to ask their selves before dating or marrying someone with children, and this is especially true for women.  And ladies I’m not being critical of you, and please understand your answers to the following questions don’t make you a bad person!  I hope you will share some of your thoughts in the comment section below, but here are some of my questions that I would like for you to ask yourself:

1)  Will you expect your spouse’s children to obey your rules?

  • You may say, “Well of course.”  And I would say, “I don’t blame you”, but guess what?  The rules they have at their other home may be very different from those that you have for them.  And they are kids who might very well do what they want to do.  So how will you handle that?  Will you explode, negotiate, or run for the hills?

2)  Will you expect your spouse’s children to follow your religious or moral code?

  • Do you attend church every week, and think they should as well?  How different is your ethical code from theirs?

3)  Will you expect your spouse to agree to the forms of disciple you believe are appropriate?

  • How do you think discipline can be handled, and what will you do if your spouse doesn’t discipline behavior you believe should be disciplined?

4)  Will you expect your spouse’s children to follow your rules of cleanliness and structure?

  • So are you one of those people who thinks everything has its place, and when you say dinner is at 6:00 you don’t mean 6:15?  When you find your stepchild’s room a mess, or their stinky shoes in the middle of your living room floor how will you handle it?

5)  Will you expect your spouse to defend you when there is a disagreement between you and one of his or her children?

  • When I do premarital counseling I usually say the following, “Remember, he (she) can talk bad about their momma, but you can’t.”  The same is true for your future spouse’s children.  They know their kids aren’t perfect, and there will be times they are ready to explode in anger, but they don’t want to hear you talk smack about their kids.  So if you want to avoid the “You never take my side” argument it will take you choosing your words and especially adjectives carefully.

6:  Would you trust your children to be home alone with your spouse’s children?

  • I don’t think I need to say much more about this question, but if your child will be home with his new step-brother or sister would you be concerned?

If you will notice, 5 out of the 6 questions have the word “expect” in them, and when it comes to marriage…lots of expectations can lead to lots of problems!  We can all have hopes, but expectation often times really mean “this is a must.”  Again, the answers to the above questions don’t mean you are a good or bad person.  They are simply intended for you to be honest with yourself and your significant other.

My wife Amy literally said to me, “If you would have had children when we met then I wouldn’t have gone out with you.”  She absolutely loves children, and is the best mother I could have ever asked to have for our children, but she knew she wouldn’t do well with weekend visits from another woman’s kids.  I would encourage you to take these questions to your future spouse, and go over them together.  And whatever you do…before you walk down the aisle spend a lot of time with the children in family type settings.  Play games together and go on trips together if you can afford to do so.  Get way past the honeymoon phase of a relationship before you say those two very powerful words “I do.”  Because you aren’t just saying “I do marry you.”  You are also saying, “I marry you and them.”  And just a side note…when I officiate a wedding the word “expect” is no where to be found in the vows.

Please share this on your Facebook/Twitter, and post your comments below.  Almost 40,000 people have read this blog and they could use YOUR advice.

 

 

1 in 5 Unhappily Married Women say They aren’t Getting this ONE Thing AT ALL. As in NEVER!

67a3198168According to the dating website Ashley Madison a recent survey says that U.S. women top the list when it comes to sexless marriages.  I realize I have written about this before, but it appears that this problem is not getting better…in fact it is getting worse!  Let this stat sink in for a moment, “Twenty-two percent of the American women surveyed admitted to having NO sex with their husbands at all.”  Yes, studies show that 1 in 5 unhappily married women in the U.S. are in a sexless marriage! And to add insult to injury…do you know what the purpose of AshleyMadison.com?  It is a website for married folks who want to cheat on their spouse.

I hope I’m not boring you with my marital posts this week, but this is seriously breaking my heart. And please know that I’m not judging anyone, because I’m not a perfect husband.  In fact, at 47 years-old I am not as good as I once was, but I’m as good once as I ever was (Yes I stole that from Toby Keith).  Women hit their sexual peaks at about the time a man’s testosterone level is dropping, which I consider to be proof that the evolutionary process is far from complete or God has a warped sense of humor.  However, there are no excuses for a “sexless” marriage unless there is a medical problem that can’t be fixed, or both partners agree they just don’t want to do the Humpty dance.

If your sex life is lacking the LUSTer you crave then please consider listening to my podcast & Interview with A SexPert that I posted last month.  You will get some great tips and learn of a book that can put the X back in sex!

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Other stats from various sources:

  • 15 to 20 percent of couples have sex no more than 10 times a year, which experts define as a sexless marriage. — Newsweek
  • 20 to 30 percent of men and 30 to 50 percent of women say they have little or no sex drive. — USA Today
  • 25 percent of all Americans (a third of women and a fifth of men) suffer from a condition known as hypoactive sexual desire (HSD), which is defined as a persistent or recurring deficiency or absence of sexual fantasies or thoughts, or a lack of interest in sex or being sexual. — Psychology Today
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