Well the holidays are here and with them brings joy, happiness, and a crap load of STRESS! So I want to do things differently this year, and keep all the joy and happiness, and ditch the stress. And to ditch the crap load of stress I’ll need what? Correct! A crap load of cash!
Let’s be honest and admit the holidays are very expensive. So to offset the expense I’ve decided to engage in criminal or immoral behavior this year. I know it sounds horrible seeing as though part of the holiday includes celebrating baby Jesus, but I can’t take another stressful holiday season.
So my criminal plan may involve a bank robbery. Now don’t worry, I will be completely unarmed and make that clear as I walk to the counter. I’m simply going to demand they return all the money they took from me this year. I want them to return all my ATM fees, overdraft fees, technology fees, under the minimum balance fees, and fees they used to process my fees. So if you think about it…I’m only robbing them of what they robbed of me. I’m hoping the judge will see it that way as well, and let me out of jail before the kids open their gifts on Christmas morning. Now, I do believe in the power of a Plan B so I have another idea.
My plan B is to become a stripper. And some of you middle aged guys may want to get in on this one, because I’ll need a team. I’m thinking of putting together a group of guys in their forties and fifties, and we’ll call ourselves the Swinging Richards. And here is the the genius of Plan B, we will market ourselves to senior living facilities and nursing homes! So if you swing low or hell, if you swing at all, please consider joining me.
p.s. This was sarcasm so please don’t report me to the police who will be busy with real bank robbers
Today’s Holiday Links: